NOVICE ISSUES
The picture above is both sobering and real. Success is generally considered the end of a thing, but there is much more to unpack. This illusion of what people see versus what people don’t see should resonate with anyone who has ever thought about what it means to be successful. Only then will there be a fuller understanding of how to support others and encourage successful outcomes. In discussions about child welfare, there is an issue that deserves greater attention: life after foster care. The end goal of providing children with out-of-home placement should be future success as an adult.
In the context of foster care, this topic about what happens next is a fairly novice issue. While some hunt for “success stories,” there is a tendency to rely on half-truths and “feel good” highlights. This fallacy results in condensing real life stories to fit the appropriate narratives. There is no perfect formula for success, but much to be learned in achieving better outcomes. Healing comes with the recognition that a wound leaves one’s flesh scarred, not unblemished. It is easy to imagine the folly in gazing upon tip of an iceberg without acknowledging the vastness of what lies just beneath the surface.
In order to develop successful trends, it is crucial to identify both existing barriers and ones that were previously overcome. Everyone has been shaped in their own life by unique experiences and individualized hardships. Plainly put, EVERYONE has been through some stuff. What a lazy, all-encompassing term: stuff. It sums up the difficulty of coherently capturing an individual’s experience with struggle, particularly in how it effects them later in life. Children from unstable homes may grow into adults with unstable lives. There has to be more than just personal strength or fortitude to get through traumatic setbacks. We need to embrace this novice issue and be deliberate in helping youth prepare for this transition period. What exactly does that look like?
AFTERCARE
After a surgery, it is common to have follow-up appointments to assess the progress the body is making toward recovery. If a person experienced 10 years of surgeries, there would no doubt be follow-up. The incision, scars, rate of healing, and internal functions would need to be examined. The great attention to preventing infection is a major factor. Then, there is the weaning off of painkillers and other dependency that follows. Finally, some surgeries, breaks, or other injuries result in a lifelong sensitivity in the affected area. A previously broken ankle may cause one to avoid putting full weight on it for many years.
Maybe the approach to medical aftercare needs to extend across other areas. Why are so many settling for just saying that they are fine? It is okay to not be fine. Aftercare is the assessment of stability or instability a person has after a major life event. Foster care is no doubt a major life event, not just during the adolescent years. Thus, aftercare is needed more than ever to improve outcomes for foster youth, not to merely collect statistical data. The data identifies the problem, but does not, in and of itself, offer any solutions.
In his book, Good to Great, Jim Collins discusses confronting the brutal facts. In that discussion, he also provides an incredible caveat that encourages the reader to never lose faith while confronting brutal facts. His outlook is about having an “honest confrontation” of the realities an organization is facing. There is no reason why this concept shouldn’t be applied across all industries, groups, and individuals.
The brutal facts that need to be faced in foster care are the long-term effects and outcomes. The core constant is that children should be raised by their parents. The variable reality is that hundreds of thousands of children are in out-of-home placement, with kinship caregivers, and in group homes. Many more are waiting to be adopted and provided with some sense of permanency. The basic needs of food, water, and shelter must be met. For thousands of children edging closer to adulthood, even meeting the most basic needs becomes more of a difficulty. It is not a luxury to desire a little stability while in foster care and afterwards. One of the most brutal facts is that being “fine” is often categorized as being stable. The data provides a look at where things are, but not how they can be improved.
A foster child who ages out, which means turning a certain age to no longer be eligible for caregiving, must eventually figure out what to do next. This usually ranges from age 18 to 21. While it is common for most children to transition into young adults, foster youth often face additional barriers. While resources are made available, not all are utilized or the most helpful. For example, often foster youth can obtain tuition waivers at state colleges, yet only two percent graduate from college. This could mean that college isn’t for everyone or maybe the barriers are deeper than free college.
It would be easy to suggest that kids just need to grow up and face the world as it is. That is all okay, but why not help them face both realities: adulting is hard and barriers do exist. The point is that foster youth will have many questions that come up after they leave care: Where do I go next? What do I do? What about holidays? Who is my family now? What are about my birth parents? A hard-nosed, “life is rough” response is definitely an option. Honestly, we have already been doing that well, so let’s focus on the things that we don’t do well. Foster youth are not only joining the workforce or becoming law-abiding adults, they are transitioning without any close community or familial ties. That is the greatest harm of all.
The ultimate goal is to prepare youth for that transition. It cannot wait until last minute. Starting early and providing community is what will make all the difference. Aftercare is a treatment-oriented process. It involves following-up with a former foster youth and learning whether they have a healthy support system. To take it even further, not just learning if they have this, but becoming part of their support system. We don’t need more suffering in silence, we need people who will see and fill needs. This can only be accomplished by remaining aware of the needs around us. So, what is it going to take?
WILLING AND ABLE
The most important step that can be taken is to just begin discussing this topic early, today. No matter the circumstances of care a young person is in, the day will arrive when they will be launched into the world. Foster care can seem like an unnatural family setting. There is an attachment developed with families, friends, or communities and the thought of losing that is unsettling. It can lead to maladapted adulthood, particularly when it comes to relationships. Talk about this transition to adulthood as being natural, because it is. Preparation will be all the more beneficial. If others are willing and able to provide even an iota of advice for young people moving from one stage of life to the next, there is potential for a meaningful impact.
The sheer amount of reality that a young adult needs to be ready to face can be overwhelming. This includes budgeting, paying rent, maintaining a car, filing taxes, healthcare, avoiding consumer scams, grocery shopping, and making healthy friends, to name a few. Even having someone to call in an emergency is a necessity. The fact is that many young adults believe, for good reason, that they have absolutely no one in their lives that they can trust. While addressing consumer scams, one topic that came up is that scammers target young, lonely, low-income individuals. This isolation causes not only a financial hardship, it breeds a falsehood that one will never get out of their difficult circumstances.
It is not enough to assume a maladjusted person just isn’t trying hard enough. Life skills are best developed when they are taught early and effectively. It takes being granular and methodical. Teaching someone to write out a schedule, call an employer back, or show up for appointments on time will pay dividends. It can seem elementary at times, but it is essential. Some have it in them to be born survivors and keep clawing forward no matter the circumstances. Those that aren’t born with this kind of “grit” shouldn’t be counted out.
A mentor who can share both mistakes and successes provide a little hope. Someone who doesn’t just lecture life skills, but models them in their own life is ideal. Youth don’t need to be coddled and deceived into believing the world is this amazing place that wants to accept them. What they need is relational people who are in it for the long haul. They need to understand that they have a friend who cares for them, but will also be honest with them. They need to set and follow through with both short-term and long-term goals. Youth must be able to face the brutal facts in their own lives. The need a trusted person in their life that will be real and call out that dumb decision or unhealthy relationship in a loving way. If used effectively, being blunt can be the turning point for a young person.
A mentor, or friend, also needs to be more than just another wise adult. There is a time to keep silence and a time to speak. Wisdom is developing the skill to know what that time looks like. This person must be able to model what it means to be a responsible adult. For example, a mentor may get frustrated with a young person for never being on time or just completely ignoring texts, phone calls, or Facebook messages. However, the first time the mentor misses a meeting, they will probably hear about it for weeks. The best way a mentor can model a proper response is to be apologetic and honest. Don’t try to make excuses or throw something back in the youth’s face. Explain to them, like an adult, how to deal with taking ownership for your mistakes. Youth don’t need more fake people in their lives and mentors don’t need excuse-makers.
Foster care involves taking care of an abused or neglected child and, at time, removing children from extremely traumatic events. Foster care is meant to protect children and offer a healthy environment before adulthood. Is that all though? The focus on child wellbeing alone takes priority over any other thoughts of long-term outcomes. It isn’t a criticism, it’s just a fact. The ultimate goal is for children to reunify with family or transition to stable adulthood. It wouldn’t be a surprise if only a few mindsets were focused on the short-term care versus the long-term outcomes.
This transition from foster care is similar to leaving home at age 18, with different barriers. However, it is not the individual barriers alone that determine the trajectory of one’s life. The most important life lesson is learning how to respond. This approach ensures that underlying issues aren’t just buried, they are continually dealt with. There is often little or no control over the things that happens to a person, so the response is crucial. Before a young adult leaves foster care, they must continually ponder the most difficult question: “What am I going to do about it?”
The next time foster care is discussed, include discussion on long-term goal planning for the day the child leaves the home. Consider the fact that abused and neglected children deserve better outcomes as adults. The honest dialogue for this novice issue is just getting started. Foster care can no longer be considered temporary care, it must include long-term outcomes. That simply begins with the recognition that someday children will face the reality that there is a life after foster care.
The Trotter Family Foundation focuses on education, support, opportunity, and service for young people who have been in the foster care system. To learn more, please visit us at trotterfamilyfoundation.org